3rd Year, UCSD
It had been 2 years since I went to my last mission trip in Nicaragua and it felt like such a distant memory. As I prepared to go to Mexico, I realized I had lost so much passion and zeal for the nations ever since the end of my freshman year. Even though my heart was so burdened with stress and confusion from lack of trust in God, it was humbling to see that God still wanted to use a sinner like me to show His love and reach out to people just an hour away from my own campus. Leading up to the trip, I was filled with doubt on even becoming a doctor and thoughts of giving up filled my head. It honestly seemed impossible for a student who was nowhere near the standards of a prototypical medical student, but God rebuked me again just like
He did during my time in Nicaragua and revealed to me how childish and foolish we can be at times through a little boy named Abram I met during my time in Mexico. It was time to eat and hot dogs were being distributed to the kids so that they can eat. Abram and I had gotten pretty close at that point and as I was carrying him, I asked him, “Tienes hambre?” (Are you hungry?). He replied by simply shaking his head, even though we had been out playing in the sun for hours and I knew he had to be hungry. I got him a hot dog and a juice box anyways and sat down on the ground with him to feed him. He took one bite and his eyes lit up. He didn’t realize a hot dog could be so good, chewing as fast as he could so that he could take another bite. I had to force him to drink so that he wouldn’t choke, but he ended up chugging half of that in one breath too.
Watching Abram eat and drink made me really see how God looks at us as a Father. God was telling me that day that we are all like Abram, refusing to eat what He wants to feed us and always rejecting all of the wonderful things He has in store for us. But God never gives up on us and keeps insisting we eat until we take that first bite and we just can’t get enough of His sweet goodness. God has everything planned out for us and literally all we have to do is just sit back and eat. Our future goals, plans, dreams, and desires are already all laid out in front of us. It doesn’t matter whether I become a doctor or a college dropout. I just have to step towards Him and keep eating along the way.